Let's talk divorce. It's not exactly a walk in the park, but it doesn't have to be a warzone either. My recent split from my ex, while emotional, proved that a peaceful divorce is possible – and beneficial for everyone involved.
For starters, let's acknowledge the elephant in the room: cost. Traditional, adversarial divorces can drain your bank account faster than a leaky faucet. According to Martindale-Nolo, the average cost for a contested divorce in Washington state is about $12,000 if there are no minor children and $16,000 if there are minor children. Those costs are per person, so double that for an overall cost. Lawyer fees, court appearances, endless back-and-forth – it adds up quick. We opted for mediation instead. A neutral third party helped us navigate the legal stuff, but more importantly, facilitated open communication.
Here's the magic of a peaceful divorce: it prioritizes respect and understanding. We focused on what mattered – dividing assets fairly, and if we had children, creating a solid co-parenting plan. This meant less finger-pointing and more compromise, saving us tons of time and emotional energy.
Sure, there were bumps along the road. Open communication doesn't mean sunshine and rainbows all the time. But by approaching things civilly, we were able to listen to each other's needs and find common ground. This saved us from getting bogged down in resentment, which can quickly spiral in a courtroom setting.
The time saved was another perk. Instead of countless hours spent with lawyers, we focused on the future – finding new housing, and (believe it or not) we even started the healing process.
Now, I'm not suggesting a peaceful divorce is easy. It requires maturity and a willingness to let go of the past. But if you're considering a split, know this: there's a way to do it that protects your finances, your sanity, and potentially, even the possibility of a civil relationship with your ex moving forward.
Here are some takeaways for those on the path to a peaceful divorce:
Prioritize communication: Openness and honesty go a long way.
Seek mediation: A neutral third party can keep things civil and focused.
Focus on the future: Don't dwell on blame, work towards a fair resolution.
Remember respect: You may not be together anymore, but treating each other with respect is key.
Divorce is a difficult chapter, but it doesn't have to be a bad one. By choosing peace over war, you can save yourself a lot of heartache (and money) in the long run.
At Three Rivers Law Center, we practice peaceful, uncontested divorce in which both parties are fully in agreement, or are willing to mediate until they are fully in agreement. We do not represent either party, but instead act as a neutral. The parties jointly hire our firm to complete the necessary court pleadings to open and, eventually, complete a divorce. The parties don’t have to appear in court in 99% of cases. There are no outrageous retainer fees – we charge a flat fee so you know what to expect. If you and your partner live in Washington state and are seeking an uncontested divorce, contact our office today to set up a consultation.
---- C.G.
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